Tuesday, October 19, 2010

"TWO CENTS TUESDAY" 10/19/2010

“I have some really good friends. I am also investing a lot of energy into my growth and development. The growth I am experiencing is causing me to out grow some of my friends. There is a part of me that has been resisting this reality. In some cases, it makes conversing challenging because I find their views so narrow - not different. How do you have a transformational experience and keep the people you feel close to in your life?”

Life is all about growth. We grow into some things while growing out of others. The thing about growth is that it happens to different people at different times which can be what is causing you to feel what you are currently feeling. I do believe that there are certain people that are placed on our paths in life that are seasonal. They have a specific purpose for a specific time and once that time is up that relationship will seem to fade.

However, real friends are forever. I am not one to subscribe to the idea of out growing someone that I authentically call friend. Friends are people we can depend on through the hardest and happiest of times. Friends are those people we can keep it real with and not feel judged on how shallow our views and ideas may be. Friends are those people that are patient with you throughout whatever process you are going through without making you feel invaluable to the relationship.

Perhaps this change that you are experiencing is not as metamorphic as you feel it is. Perhaps the conversations are becoming difficult because you have been over analyzing your experience thus shutting off different views. Perhaps you should do a little more investing in the friendships so that you can learn your friends a little better. Every conversation is not for everyone. You have to know who to discuss what with or who to share what experience with. Talk to colleagues, co workers or even try blogging to share with random people. The reason we take everything to our friends is because underneath it all we expect them to agree.

I hope I am not sounding harsh here, but I am very passionate about friendships because I have grown to understand the value of real friends through the years. I have over 15yrs of vested time with my friends and we have all grown and are growing, but we never stop loving each other. At the end of the day, you know who you can call at 3 am in the morning if you needed to no matter how narrow their views.

What I suggest is that you step back aND take a look at yourself. It is highly possible that you are pushing yourself away from your friends because you may feel that they will reject your new space without giving them a chance to fully embrace where you are. I would also suggest that you have a talk with your friends about what you are experiencing. You never know, it may cause them to begin their own personal journey linking you all back together.

Be blessed and know that in order to embrace you must start by being open.



TTHayes said...

Well said. I love the advice on looking into yourself as he/she may be the one to leads his friends UP into the next great phase of their lives. Maybe its time for him pick up the baton and lead the pack.

Moanerplicity said...

Life has taught me to look at my hand. If you, I, or anyone count as many (TRUE, For Real, Ride Or Die) Friends, as we can fingers, then we are deeply Blessed.

That's real, yo.