I recently made the statement that being single is the new relationship and it was just a random feeling that came to my head, but the more I thought about it I felt the need to expound on it. The statement was not from a bitter place due to past relationships, but I feel it is a positive step towards reconstruction; an epiphany. Some of us spend so much time investing in relationships with others that we tend to neglect the relationship that we should be nurturing with ourselves. To be clear, I am not suggesting that I am against relationships and that everyone should just be single. What I am suggesting is that maybe if we had better relationships with ourselves we could have better relationships with others.
The same things we invest in others we should invest in ourselves. TRUST- How can you trust someone else when you don’t even trust yourself or the feelings that you have. HONESTY- If you cannot look yourself in the mirror and be honest about what you see inside your reflection then nothing you say to others really matters. RESPECT- No one respects a person that does not respect him or herself. These are just a few things we exhaust ourselves with trying to show and prove to someone else when actually we don’t have them to give because we’ve never authentically developed them. How can you give someone something you don’t even possess?
It is time to change the way we think about being single. Being single does not mean you are alone. Being single does not mean you have failed at love. Being single is a time to reflect, heal and rebuild. Being single is a time to develop your own relationship. Commit to yourself and be the best lover you’ve ever had.
5 comments:
Whoa! Who knew you could wax so deeply, my Brotha Pen! (smile)
I agree with that boldly innovative statement of yours. Single life, when used correctly, affords one with a much needed relationshop w/ one's self, provides you with the time for self-introspection and leaves one with room to grow and become mo betta. Not to mention that self love (and yes, self-pleasuring) are essential in finding the keys to personal happiness.
Aside from a close relationship with The Creator, personal happiness, self-satisfaction and loving one's self is indeed the second greatest relationship we can foster.
Welcome back, mane!
One.
Lin
Nice post. I agree with you 100%. During my relationships, I always kept a part of me to myself. I always made time for me and continued to do the things I loved to do. While in my first relationship, I lost so much of myself. I forgot about the things I did to make me happy. When that relationship was over I was left empty. I was at zero. So now I save a little love for myself. That why when the next relationship came and went I wasn't starting from "zero".
I've vowed to continue to learn me.....continue to grow so I can be a better son...a better friend...a better husband.
Steven Hamlin
@Lin, its great to be back and thanks for always staying connected even when I can't see you.
@Steven, you just blew my mind with not having to start from zero. You really brought my feelings to the light.
Interesting for me//
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