"IS WATCHING PORN CHEATING?"
Like I have said before, in relationships we to have set our own realistic rules. I feel that what others outside of your relationship consider cheating may not necessarily hold true for your situation. We have to learn to handle the issues that arise in our relationships on an individual basis and not go with the popular public opinion. Sandi Jackson, the wife of Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr., was just quoted when speaking on his affair by saying “it’s amazing how what you once thought was black and white becomes variations of a color called gray.”
If watching porn is your guilty pleasure and your mate is uncomfortable with the activity, it is only fair that the both of you consider the feelings of one another. Is porn more important than your relationship? Maybe you can come to an agreed scheduled time of when it is acceptable.
Most importantly, you should assess your reasons for watching porn. Many people have undiagnosed addictions to porn that are simply overlooked because there is no controlled substance involved, but countless hours of pornographic activity is very controlling and time consuming. Subscriptions to several porn sites that cost money can be a problem that translates into your mate’s issues with porn. Are you watching porn because of the lack of sexual activity in your relationship? Do you feel that you have watch porn in order to be fulfilled sexually?
Acknowledging the issues some people may have with their partners watching porn, I personally do not feel that it is cheating, but I am not in a relationship with you. I also feel that it is something that should be addressed up front before entering into a relationship. The same time everything else is being discovered about one another like drinking, smoking, partying, and etc.
“Starting the conversation can lead to the resolution”
DemondMaurice
7 comments:
Wow I had to bring back my old No4RealReal Blog to comment on this on.
I enjoyed your commentary. I thought it was great advice. Although I think the questions posed to could have a little more depth. We would enjoy some background. Which part was the porn affecting? To what extent? How long has it been going on? Come on now we are nosey...LOL
I agree completely. The issue is not whether or not a person is in a relationship but addressing ones affectation to that type of stimulation. Namely is this something that you share with others or treat on the DL?
N4R I will try to get more information, but I don't want to pry...lol
MrMan, I think it's perfectly fine to share this with others. You never know who you may reach by sharing your trials. Someone may connect and no longer feel alone.
Everyone, no matter their situation, should be allowed a fantasy life. When you take that away or demand them to stop it, you take away an essential part of their freedom. The solution is about boundaries & setting up certain rules of TRUST about crossing them.
One.
Linn you have pointed out something so important that we tend to overlook, "FREEDOM." We have to allow our mates to still have a sense of freedom.
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